Monday, November 29, 2010

Surrender More

So it has been WAY to long since I posted last. I hope most have read my various God Stories via email but still it is no excuse…. I am sorry… please forgive me…..

Many may already know my big news but just incase you missed it…We are expecting another child in July of next year. The thing that you may not know is that this was in no way planned. In fact quite the opposite…We have been taking all necessary measures not to have any more children. So how can this be? That was my reaction anyways. I love my children dearly but Isaac and I had both agreed that we were done.

The week leading up to the official test was excruciating to say the least. It did not even seem right to be praying that I would not be pregnant. All the logistics filled my head and I found myself drowning in all the reasons I did not want this. But then God…

He began to confirm my suspicion thru his word, a book I was reading and then a third time by news from a friend. The test was a mere formality for God had already spoken.

As the shock began to ware off and the news began to sink in I asked the question so common in times of trial… “Why Lord, why?” And then that still small voice of the one who created not only me but this child spoke, “for I know the desires of your heart, daughter”. You see when Elijah was younger I said that if I could know for sure the child was a girl, I would want to have another so that Hosanna could have a sister. Of course knowing that I could never control such a thing I reasoned that if God had wanted her to have a sister then He would have and since He did not then He knew best and that was it…we were finished.

There are many things as a Christian that we willingly surrender or at least should, our time, our desires, our finances, our goals, our dreams, but with this latest news I quickly realized that I was not FULLY surrendered. Isaac and I always said we would have our kids young and close in age and be done, we had our plan. But you see what God was reminding me was that ALL my ways need to be not mine but His… it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me (Galatians 2:20). He is giving me a greater opportunity to trust in, rely upon and cling to Him is so many different ways and I know he won’t let me down ... its just not in his nature!

So what area does God want you to surrender more fully? Are you willing to let go and let God? Mediate on His word, His very character… lean not on your own understanding (Psalms 3:5-6), He knows what you can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13), He has a plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11) fill your heart and mind with truth and take captive all the “me” thoughts. Allow Him to be who He is … I am that I am. Who can argue with that...I sure can't!