This morning as i sat down for my never quiet "quiet time", i cried out to the Lord to speak to me regarding my emptiness. Yes, i know you may find it shocking but for me, I ever so often experience times when I just feel empty; like every last drop of Jesus has been sucked out of me and i feel like giving up (note the number of times feel comes up). It is like when i am sharing a soda with the kids and they will not stop until every last dropperful is gone. "No mom there is still more!"
Papa being the every faithful father heard my cry and though his word again reminding me of the truth. Feelings are deceitful but His word is always right. So as is my habit i picked up my bible to continue in my chapter a day study finding myself in Luke chapter 17. Verses 7-10 are as follows:
"Suppose one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, 'Come along now and sit down to eat'? Would he not rather say, 'Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink'? Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.' "
All to often i feel empty because i am looking to man for appreciation only to find disappointment. But as Luke states giving, serving, loving, forgiving, being poured out is just my duty. It is what the Lord has called me to do as a christian and a follower of Him. In an easy to read version of the bible the last sentence reads "We are not worthy of any special thanks. We have only done the work we should do." Ouch! I don't know about you but i do not like hearing that. But whether or not it "feels" good i know the bible speaks only truth.
One of the only areas of my life that this seemed natural is in relation to is mothering. Mothering is NOT an easy task or does it ever seem appreciated by the kids. They ever want more - more time, more grace, more food, more cartoons etc but as much as they suck everything out of me i never once consider not being their mother. The idea has never entered my mind to not feed them, not read to them, not teach them, not clothe them....those things are my given duty as their mother. So why is it so difficult to joyfully fulfill my duties as Christan without looking for special thanks?
Needless to say it reminds me of how truly wicked i am and totally incapable i am of pleasing him on my own. i don't know where you are today but if you are tired of being poured out, whether at the work place, at home, among friends, in ministry, in marriage, wherever you may find yourself let me remind you that as Christians it is merely our duty to be loving, forgiving, humble, kind, long suffering, patient, to stand for truth, to be bold, be above reproach ..... to be salt and light. And NO you cant do it, not alone...cry out to Him to fill you again with the Helper, to bring to remembrance the joy of your salvation, to help your unbelief, that we maybe workers in the harvest pleasing unto him. It will all be worth it when we finally standing in our masters very presence hear the words "Well done, good and faithful servant!".